To most people, April 1st is April Fool’s Day. I will always think of it as the day my world came to an end. Oh, I am still alive, obviously, and functioning, but the world that meant so much to me no longer exists. It was replaced by a “lite” version of hell.
It isn’t a movie or a fictional story, it is happening to me. So what does that mean? That means that the love of my life is no longer by my side and my heart is so broken that each day is a struggle just to get through. That means that my children’s lives are changed and that they must learn to be in two homes. That means that running a business with over 35 fellow coaches has become an enormous challenge and being there for all my members has become almost impossible.
Yet I have a dream that will not die. It is replayed over and over in my head, constantly reminding me of what I must do. As a husband, I must remain ever faithful to the marriage that God created and no man can rend asunder. I must remain strong for the beautiful children from that marriage who need security and stability in their lives. I must be a leader to my team of coaches and show them that even in the most challenging times in our lives, we must still work for the betterment of those around us because their needs are so great. And I must fulfill my responsibility to my members to answer their questions and guide them to their goals to the best of my ability.
Yes, life does have obstacles that seem almost insurmountable, but faith and trust in God will get us through our challenges and a brighter day will come. I will find refuge under His wings and be stronger for it. The words from the Josh Wilson song, “Before the Morning” will keep playing over and over in my head until the morning comes:
Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there’s a God who loves you
Where is He now
Maybe there are things you can’t see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday somehow you’ll see you’ll see
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
My friend you know how this all ends
And You know where you’re going
You just don’t know how you’ll get there
So say a prayer
And hold on cause there’s good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you’ll see the bigger picture
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory
Once you feel the weight of glory
All your pain will fade to memory, memory, memory
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still got a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still got a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming
Come on you’ve gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the hurt before the healing
Oh the pain that you’ve been feeling
It’s just the dark before the morning
Before the morning
