{"id":7735,"date":"2023-06-08T16:57:34","date_gmt":"2023-06-08T22:57:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/howtobefit.com\/coach-blog\/?p=7735"},"modified":"2024-10-18T14:47:56","modified_gmt":"2024-10-18T20:47:56","slug":"stop-negative-self-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/howtobefit.com\/coach-blog\/2023\/06\/08\/stop-negative-self-talk\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Negative Self-Talk"},"content":{"rendered":"

Stop negative self-talk by controlling how you react to a stressful situation and how you talk to yourself afterward. Scroll down to see the advice that author Stepfanie Romine<\/a><\/span> has in her post in the

\"Stop<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve all been there \u2014 all it takes is one bad workout or a mistake at work, and then the negative self-talk begins.<\/p>\n

How you react to a stressful situation \u2013 and how you talk to yourself afterward \u2013 can impact your mental health and well-being.<\/p>\n

Like Alexa or Siri, your brain is always listening and using even your inner monologue to inform your mental algorithm.<\/p>\n

Practice\u00a0positive self-talk<\/a>\u00a0and you\u2019ll build a healthier mindset; rely on negative self-talk too much, and you\u2019ll end up stuck in a pattern that can be hard to break.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cNegative self-talk is a normal part of our human experience,\u201d explains\u00a0Dr. Natasha Manning-Gibbs<\/a>, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we\u2019re stressed or experiencing negative emotions, we\u2019re more likely to activate negative self-talk. Many negative thoughts occur so automatically that you may not even realize that you\u2019re having them, but it is important to know that your thoughts can linger long enough to impact your mood and influence your behavior,\u201d she explains.<\/p>\n

That means\u00a0berating yourself at the gym (or after a meal) will backfire<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But swapping smack talk for pep talks\u00a0may impact your performance on a physiological level<\/a>\u00a0\u2013 and\u00a0improve your mental game, too<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Read on to learn about the causes of negative self-talk, plus strategies and tips to break the cycle.<\/p>\n

Causes of Negative Self-Talk<\/h2>\n

 <\/p>\n

What\u2019s the harm in negative self-talk? According to therapist\u00a0Jaclyn Borgia<\/a>, LPC, it\u2019s like that old adage, \u201cyou are what you eat.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNegative self-talk, like any self-talk, creates connections in the brain,\u201d says Borgia. \u201cBy speaking to yourself in a certain manner, you are feeding the brain information, telling it how to operate and perceive the world. With negative self-talk, you are actively wiring your brain to believe that you are what you think.\u201d<\/p>\n

So why do we do it? Plenty of reasons.<\/p>\n

Our past experiences<\/b>: If you pay attention to your tone or word choice, says Borgia, you might notice it sounds like your caregivers\u2019 or parents\u2019 voices. It can also sound like a childhood bully, frenemy, or even a teacher.<\/p>\n

\u201cOne reason we speak to ourselves in any manner is because we were shown how to by the people who raised us, modeling for us how to treat the self and others,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Cultural and societal pressures<\/b>: Maybe you grew up hearing \u2014 and seeing on social media on a daily basis \u2014 that women are supposed to take up less space or that men have to be physically imposing.<\/p>\n

When your struggle relates to your body, \u201cit frequently is a result of cultural and societal messages about \u2018how we should look,’\u201d says\u00a0Michela Dalsing<\/a>, MS, LMHC, NCC, LCPC. \u201cIt can also come from medical professionals using outdated measurements of wellness such as the BMI, which doesn\u2019t account for body composition.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lack of awareness<\/b>: Negativity is so pervasive that sometimes we don\u2019t even notice what we\u2019re saying, says Dalsing.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re just making a passing statement like, \u2018Oh, I\u2019m such an idiot,\u2019 for missing something that you thought should be obvious,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Your brain\u2019s \u201cvirtual assistant\u201d is always listening to these seemingly \u201charmless\u201d statements, rooting them deeper into your personal lexicon.<\/p>\n

Outdated mindsets<\/b>: \u201cNo pain, no gain\u201d and \u201cburn it to earn it\u201d mindsets used to be the norm. The\u00a0health esteem<\/a>\u00a0movement is working to replace that\u00a0negative motivation<\/a>, but it can be deeply ingrained, especially with weight loss and eating habits.<\/p>\n

Make no mistake: This never works, says Manning-Gibbs.<\/p>\n

\u201cNegative self-talk is counterintuitive if your goal is to develop a healthy relationship with food,\u201d she says. \u201cOur thoughts trigger our feelings and behaviors; therefore, if you want to feel motivated to address your food issues, it would be beneficial to develop thoughts\/beliefs that align with positive feelings and behaviors.\u201d<\/p>\n

And on that note, let\u2019s talk strategies to help you turn your inner critic into your own hype (wo)man.<\/p>\n

Strategies to Overcome Negative Self-Talk<\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Identify and challenge negative thoughts<\/b>. Therapist\u00a0Caroline Grace Brown<\/a>, LMSW, DBT, REBT, has her clients write down each negative or critical self-thought for a whole day. Then together they root out the core belief that feeds those thoughts.<\/p>\n

The self-critical thinking is an attempt at \u2018fixing\u2019 this untrue thing we believe about ourselves (e.g., that we must be impressive to be deserving of acceptance and belonging).\u201d<\/p>\n

Take note of your triggers, too<\/b>. Certain people or situations can be fuel for the flames of negativity.<\/p>\n

\u201cThink about what immediately preceded the negative self-talk, the environment, who you\u2019re surrounded by or if you\u2019re alone, your mood, if you\u2019re tired or hungry, etc.,\u201d suggests Brown.<\/p>\n

This will help you notice which patterns may need to change, especially if you\u2019re prone to emotional eating.<\/p>\n

Remember your inner self-critic is telling stories, not truths<\/b>. Noticing this self-talk helps clients understand it\u2019s not \u201cin any way helpful to them meeting their goals,\u201d adds Brown.<\/p>\n

To help distinguish reality from negative self-talk, \u201cI\u2019ll also have the client give their internal self-critic a name separate from their own.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stop yourself when you catch yourself<\/b>. Once you\u2019ve learned to recognize your negative thoughts and patterns, you can do something about them.<\/p>\n

\u201cCatching your negative thoughts or distortions can help you to slow them down by literally saying \u2018stop\u2019 to yourself,\u201d suggests Manning-Gibbs. This is especially helpful at mealtimes or when you think of foods as \u201cgood\u201d or \u201cbad.\u201d<\/p>\n

Practice self-compassion.\u00a0<\/b>\u201cWe can\u2019t bully ourselves into being a better version of ourselves,\u201d says Brown, despite the common belief that harsh words work better than self-compassion. \u201cWe\u2019re far more motivated by self-love than self-hatred.\u201d (If this feels hard, we\u2019ll share some tips below!)<\/p>\n

Use positive affirmations \u2013 or start with neutrality<\/b>. \u201cOver time, repeated negative self-talk can turn into a belief system,\u201d says Brown.<\/p>\n

But so can positive self-talk! Once you can spot negative thoughts, flip the script and say something nice. If that\u2019s too much right now, start with something neutral.<\/p>\n

6 Tips on How to Stop Negative Self-Talk<\/h2>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

1. Ask yourself, \u201cWould I say this to someone else?<\/em>\u201c<\/strong>\u00a0Would I say this in front of my children? If the answer is \u201cno,\u201d then shift toward language you would use in front of others. This is especially helpful for body image and eating habits.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0Practice positivity<\/a>.<\/strong>\u00a0Habits take time. Before workouts and meals, say something nice or neutral to yourself. \u201cI\u2019ve come a long way with my push-ups<\/em>.\u201d \u201cThis food is warm and filling, and I\u2019m grateful I can provide for myself<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Press pause.<\/strong>\u00a0When you catch yourself being less than kind, use Manning-Gibbs\u2019 \u201cstop\u201d technique. Then start over and say something nice to yourself or think about something else.<\/p>\n

4.<\/strong>\u00a0Give yourself second chances.<\/strong>\u00a0Emotional eating happens. Don\u2019t dwell on it or beat yourself up. Instead, focus on a fresh start. Identify your \u201cwhy\u201d and aim to do better tomorrow.<\/p>\n

(And nourish yourself, even after overdoing it. Don\u2019t restrict as a reflexive punishment.)<\/p>\n

5. Leave the room.<\/strong>\u00a0A change of scenery can help break cycles of negativity. When you\u2019re stuck on why a pair of pants don\u2019t fit or you\u2019re criticizing how much you ate, give your brain a new environment \u2013 and something else to focus on.<\/p>\n

6. Talk to someone.<\/strong>\u00a0A therapist or dietitian can help you shift your mindset and cultivate a more positive relationship with your body and food. And in the moment, sharing your struggles with a trusted friend can also help. They\u2019ll never talk to you the way your inner critic does!<\/p>\n

Commit this to memory: Your brain is always listening, so \u201cfeed\u201d it positive self-talk whenever you can.<\/p>\n

When you catch yourself saying something less-than-kind to yourself, pause and reframe it.<\/p>\n

Building a healthier mindset takes time, so be patient and give yourself grace. You deserve health and happiness, and that includes a more positive relationship with your body and the food that fuels your life.<\/p>\n

<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stop negative self-talk by controlling how you react to a stressful situation and how you talk to yourself afterward. Scroll down to see the advice that author Stepfanie Romine has in her post in the June 8, 2023\u00a0BODi Blog. We\u2019ve all been there \u2014 all it takes is one bad workout or a mistake at […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[918],"tags":[2162,2161],"class_list":{"0":"post-7735","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-healthy-living-and-eating","7":"tag-negative-self-talk","8":"tag-self-talk","9":"czr-hentry"},"yoast_head":"\nStop Negative Self-Talk - Fitness, Health & Longevity With Coach Rich Dafter<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Stop negative self-talk by controlling how you react to a stressful situation and how you talk to yourself afterward.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/howtobefit.com\/coach-blog\/2023\/06\/08\/stop-negative-self-talk\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stop Negative Self-Talk - 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