As far back as she can remember, Pam had always been the chubby girl who struggled with her weight. While she was growing up, eating food became the way she tried to cope with the pain of being abandoned by her father when she was a baby. During moments of insecurity, she reached for food to pacify her feelings. Over the years, she developed what she refers to as the fine art of masking her body fat with carefully crafted outfits. With a knack for layering, Pam would camouflage the rolls that seemed to be multiplying on her body. She tried every diet plan and exercise program out there, but nothing seemed to work. When she finally was able to maintain her weight, she started having children the whole cycle started over again.<\/p>\n
It wasn’t until Pam reunited with her father that she found a sense of security, and finally began trying to get control of her bad eating habits. Shortly after the birth of her first child, Pam’s father was so eager to meet his first grandson and introduce Pam to her new brother, who had been born with Down syndrome, that he flew both of them out to the Philippines for a visit. At this point in his life, Pam’s father had reached a turning point. Watching her father pour all his love and energy into his new son really helped spark the healing process for Pam. As their children grew, so did their bond, and not long afterwards, Pam’s father moved to Las Vegas to be closer to his family. Just when things seemed to be falling into place, Pam’s whole world turned upside down.<\/p>\n
About a year ago, Pam was on the way home from work when her cell phone rang. It was her husband. Their 14-year-old son was suicidal, and she needed to get home right away. All the air had been sucked right out of her. It was all she could do to keep the car on the road. As she fought through tears and sheer panic, she received another call only a few minutes later. It was her stepmother her father was terminally ill, and she needed to be with him in Nevada. Pam says that she’s never felt so torn in her whole life. As she struggled through the following months traveling back and forth between Nevada and California, she fell back into her old habits of using food to cope with the pain. On bad days, she would sit in front of the TV, in a fog of despair, and eat an entire family-size bag of peanut M&Ms. Two of the most important people in her life were on the brink of death, and Pam felt hopeless.<\/p>\n